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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Advocates of Simplicity In Dating's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, June 20th, 2010
1:52 am
Three years later, and i'm still in the same place
still fighting the same demons who haunt me
alone, at night. when im most vulnerable

fighting to feel alive and loved isnt what i thought my 20's would be like

still lost in what i need to be
hoping and pleading
that some one will find me and love me
tell me im their everything
this gross obsession has become an addiction
a constant need to understand the ways of that tangled
intangible web of erratic emotions, that most people
seem to be trapt in
an ever growing feeling that it wont come to me
that i have lost my chance to experience such emotions
i am the stranger who just missed the bus, that you stare at while departing from the station

The scariest thing is how quickly people can forget you
how quickly you can be erased.forgotten. deleted from their memory
as if you were never there?
this process for me would be complicated, inconceivable. almost impossible
as a person who values her friendships, i rarely end them
it takes a lot for me not to forget and continue
im a loving person, who can't take rejection
being so, most people i meet, who i choose to call friends, i cherish
i instantly want them to reciprocate those feelings
this leads to angst that lays dormant deep within
i've learned most people have this talent
the gift of deception
you can be manipulated to feel or think anything anyone tells you
they use this power to get inside.briefly. just long enough to get what the want
what a way to torture a person?
to make them feel worthless and used
i closed my eyes
let the angst subside
felt the warmth rise
soon after i realized my fault
before i could even open my eyes i knew it had all come to a halt
my angst is awoken
how could i have been so naive
a backbone.trust.respect.friendship.pride. a heart
all things i now know you lack
a word that used to mean so much
what a foolish concept
a boy. a girl. friends
giving up on the who, what, why, and when
no longer do i care to understand who you are
i've already forgotten who i thought you were
no longer do i wonder when friendship will find us
the why? i know where the why is
its lost in your insecure shell of a man, right next to your self-doubt and self-loathing
its clear that you're not as strong as you'd like to appear
that you're still a child
oh, what a mistake i made
but it's made
like the adult i am, im handling it
you can run from things you feel
you can push people away
but you cant escape your thoughts
and i want you to remember
that i was your friend. a person.
nothing more. nothing less
but you treated me like another stranger on the list
another notch on the pole
i hope it makes you feel like a man
i hope that the stripping of my humanity
the taking of my worth
gave you something worthy in return.
Thursday, December 24th, 2009
11:40 pm
Midnight Lovers
Midnight Lovers

The cool breeze whipped around her as she sat holding her loved one in the
cool summer breeze. The flag snapped, just as the kids started to scream
from the last childish game of the night. When the night comes in, one
that's longer any else, the couple grinned and turned to each other. Soft
breathes escaped as one moved to the other, to whisper those soft smooth
words that can destroy any man. "I love you".

A grin came across the other's lips and she just had to take them, to taste
them again. The intoxicating atmosphere made her beauty shine even more.
The blond hair flickered as the moon shone through the tree tops of the
country side home. The two sat hand and hand; body leaned on the other,
watching the kids run across their land. The grass so high it almost
swallowed the young lings.

Her hand moved over her lover's cheek, feeling the soft skin below her long
fingers. She smiled, almost breaking the others heart with love. Green eyes
shimmered with the moon's rays, when her lover's lips came to her once
again. Wallowing in her lovers embrace, she allowed the taller woman to
take over the kiss. Allowing it to take over her as the dark took over day.
Skin against skin, they moved as one. Lips sucked and tasted the sweet
flavor of their lover. Sweet whispers echoed lips. The moon shone over
their bodies when she made love to her only one.

Her body arched and ached for more of the touch. Smaller yet filled with so
much love inside her, Maria just needs to touch, to be touched by Her; the
one person that was her own. Someone that wasn't going to leave or
disappear on her. She was going to stay with her for the century.

Carrien smiled knowing she wanted more of her tall glamorous body. "In
time..." she whispered kissing the fingers of the small Latino "I will be
there for you... satisfy you... in all the ways you wish for." Maria closed
her eyes, feeling her black curling hair flow in font of her face.
Carrien's soft touch moved across her forehead removing the strand that was
hiding her love. "Carrien please" whispered over the dark girl, almost
begging for more, for the touch and the feeling of love surrounding, not
knowing it was already there.

Carefully the taller one rose. Holding gently on the hands of her abode,
Maria's eyes opened slowly; allowing the sight of the blonde to come to her
heart directly. Grinning just as the feet started lift, they walked as
one. Stepping back and forth till finally she slowly moved forward to hold
her Maria in her arms. Maria's face held close to the chest, hearing the
heartbeat of her love. Thump. Thump. The feeling of the girl around her
body made her shiver. They tightened, feeling the heat of the woman come
across them.


The small Latino started to rise, feeling the soft drops on her cheeks.
Hair crossed over her head, she fantasized. Her love was still there with
her. The imprint of Her was still on the bed beside her. Slowly she allowed
her aching body to move to the edge. The sun peeked through the window
letting her know Carrien was truly gone. Her love was gone forever. A tear
feel from her tan cheek with her shaking hand slowly wiping the remains

His hand held her's softly with her feet moving like the aches behind her.
Slowly she stepped across the same grass where her lover laid; a tear no
longer leaving her glossing green eyes. Maria smiled seeing the stone from
the ground. Lifting her head she grinned to the young man helping her to
her lost lover. He slowly nodded and stepped back. Turning back, Maria
could smell the same air again. The kids were now grown, and her body
started to ache. Weakened bones, and softened skin, Maria still felt her
heart as young as just ninety years ago.

Slowly her body started to kneel to the damp soil. Shaking as if it was her
first time, Maria felt the touch of her lover over her body again. She took
the feeling in and caressing the touch of the warm stone under her fingers.

Softly breathing Maria couldn't help but let one last tear fall down her
cheek. "I missed you darling" she whispered and lowered her lips over the
stone. Leaning back up, she knew he was still behind her. Slowly she
started to lower again; this time to lie on the grave of her lost love.
Curling she felt her aching knees hit her chest when her body started to
shake again.

"I will be there for you... satisfy you... in all the ways you wish for."
The voice whispered in her ear as Maria let her eyes close again. One last
tear flowed down her cheek when she felt the touch of an angel take over
her disappearing soul. Softly her breathing slowed, and her body ceased
it's shaking. The touch went greater when Her voice came to her ear one
final time.

"I love you"

more at my lesbian dating blog
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
10:28 pm
A "Tornado of Confusion", as a friend put it
(cross-posted from personal LJ)

Title pretty much sums it up. Right now I'm caught in the middle of what has to be the most confusing love triangle ever.

Long story short (in bullet form, nonetheless!)....

* A friend of mine (we'll call him "Phil") liked a girl ("Jane")

* Jane liked Phil back

* I try to get Jane and Phil together

* Phil suddenly decides he likes "Joann"

* I warn Phil against going out with Joann so suddenly

* Phil is a moron and ignores my advice, and asks Joann out

* Jane is confused as hell

* I start talking to Jane, comforting her

* Phil suddenly realizes Joann is an obsessive bitch

* Phil breaks up with Joann

* Jane and Joann become friends (wtf?)

* Jane decides she hates Phil, after what he put her (Jane) and Joann through

* Phil realizes he still likes Jane

* I get caught in the middle of all this, and try to get Jane to go out with Phil

* It doesn't work

* Jane's anger fades, but she still doesn't like Phil anymore

* I keep talking to Jane, and gradually start falling for her, but don't make a move because I don't want to upset Phil

* Phil travels out-of-state for a few days, and reconnects with an old (female) friend who lives there. They hit it off, and he comes back rambling on and on about how hot she is.

* I begin to think that Phil may have gotten over Jane

* Apparently I was wrong, because after a few days, his obsession with Ms. Out-Of-State fades and he's back to liking Jane

* I'm on the verge of making a move, when Jane and Phil have a long (3 hour, according to "Jane") talk about "them". Apparently, two main topics were covered in this talk. First of all, Jane had fallen for me at the same time as I'd fallen for her, and secondly, they decided that they both liked each other (collective "wtf?").

Ironically, I'm not supposed to know about that conversation at all (well, not *yet*), but "Phil" told me and made me swear not to tell anyone else. Of course, seeing as the information came from "Phil", it may not be entirely true, because (obviously) his motives might not be entirely altruistic.

Confusing as hell, no?

Anyone got any advice for me?
Wednesday, August 30th, 2006
5:16 pm

Is there a way to maintain a healthy relationship with a friend whom you have a crush on? I am in a crisis of sorts, because that's how I feel towards one of my best friends. We have known each other for nearly three years now and appreciate each others presence. Unfortunately she has a boyfriend who she is very happy with and treats her great. However, they have only been together for a month. Before they met back in mid-July, we were starting to establish a foundation towards possibly advancing our friendship, which makes the issue seem more unfair. He essentially stole her away. She even frequently mentioned that I gave her strength.

I have tried to ignore the situation, but it's difficult to deal with. Especially when every day is filled with disingenuous efforts to give the apperance that everything is fine. In the process, I've put considerable effort into making good impressions when we hang out. I like to think that I stand out from other guys. People always compliment me on my looks, personality, sense of humor, etc. None of those seem to appeal to her though. Suffice it to say, she remained unimpressed. So there was only one course of action available. A few weeks ago I decided to direct and confess my feelings. That led to a rather long, candid discussion with a unwelcome result. She said that we will *never* be anything besides friends. :( Should I forget about her and move on or be patient towards their relationship?

Current Mood: contemplative

Friday, February 24th, 2006
11:01 am
Have you been dating someone for less than 3 months?
Have you been dating someone for less than 3 months? If so, researchers at the University of Texas at Austin would like your input on a study about dynamics in newly formed romantic relationships!

Survey participants will be entered in a drawing for a chance to win one of several $20 cash prizes.

For more information, please visit:
Click on "LAB" and then click on "Dyadic Discussions Survey."

Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
12:06 am
Damaged Goods...
It has come to my attention that once we all reach our 20's, we all become damaged goods. We have been taken advantage of, taken advantage of, hurt, been hurt, and encased our hearts in ice that won't melt for decades. There are some of us, however, that would like to think that there is still hope out there somewhere...

B is absolutely beautiful, inside and out. He's absolutely amazing, but is also one of the most damaged people I ever met. He was abused, is bipolar, and is an alcoholic ( though in recovery ). He also, because of his past, has an impossible time being emotionally intimate with anyone, and has committment issues ( not one but 2 ex-fiancees to prove it ). His last, and most recent ex ( they've been apart for about 7 months, we've been together for almosat 3 ) was insanely neurotic and relied on him for everything, including her own personal happiness and stability. ( For example, she lost a lot of weight when they were dating, but only because he was her accountability, and would take food from her so she would stop eating. ) And, he feels he wants to try to be her friend, but mostly because he can't move on with his life til she is okay with it and does the same, because he feels guilty being happy when she's not, yet.

At the same time, he is honest, playful, and affectionate, and gentle, and caring, and all those wonderful qualities you look for in someone to be with. I have loved him for quite a while now, but don't dare tell him. ( Yet again, in the past, he does not believe it when someone says they love him, and he isn't able to say it freely, whether he feels it or not. ) I honestly feel like I have finally met someone who could be my equal, my match, my soulmate. This could be a life-long thing, if everything goes right.

I'm just so, so scared that something's gonna happen to mess this up, or ruin things, like my own flaws and shortcomings. Or, that maybe all his damage is gonna be too much to handle.
Monday, July 18th, 2005
5:12 pm
Kissing Questions
Just some questias on kissing...
1. If your first kiss with a certain person was average is it likely to get better with practice with that person?

2. If I thought kissing a certain person was quite average does it mean he didnt enjoy it that much either?

3. Do you need to have kissed a lot of guys to be a good kisser?

4. Has anyone felt that amazing "magic" feeling when kissing? like in the movies?

Thanx for the advice people!! You rock!!
Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
6:57 pm
What's my problem?!!?!
For most of last week and the weekend I was fortunate enough to be able to hang out with my "crush". During this time I noticed something quite disturbing about myself. For some reason, I doubt myself around females that I really like. I have a tendency to clam up and become distant around them. Example? When in a room full of my friends I am usually quite the entertainer. I enjoy making people laugh and being near the center of attention. If you add a girl I'm interested in to that very same room the equation becomes quite different. Suddenly I'm sitting in the corner of the room reading a magazine and pretending to be bored. Needless to say, this weekend wasn't very much fun due to my inability to be myself around her. Basically most of the week went this way. Either I'd avoid her or when we did have interaction of any kind I'd find a reason to leave her as soon as possible. I don't really understand what my problem is. Obviously I have rejection issues. I'm afraid to show interest because it sets me up to be hurt. I don't want to be this way anymore but I don't know how to to change. One day last week I told myself that I wasn't going to be distant and retarded towards her. I decided that I was going to be upbeat and fun just like I am around everyone else. Well, as soon as she came into my vicinity I resorted to being distant and bailing out first chance I got. *sigh* I just don't know what to do. I'm tired of sabotaging myself but I don't know what to do to change things.

I'll be seeing her again on the 4th of July and I don't want a repeat of a repeat performance. Anyone have any suggestions?
Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
10:29 pm
I have a fairly decent sized crush on a girl from my home town who is significantly younger than I. She's 18 and I'm...well.....not 18. So anyway, people in my life including my parents seems to have this somewhat strange notion that the two of us are destined for great things together. LOL. Recently HER mom has jumped in on the action. I ran into her mother a few weeks ago and to my surprise the very first thing to pop out of her mouth was, "Have you seen R yet? She was hoping you'd come. She's gonna me so happy you're here. You should go find her!" Somewhat startled I scampered off to find my usual friends and was blindsided with the same sort of greeting from T. (one of my best friends who is married to H who is one of R's older sisters......)T proceeded to ask me if I've seen R and tell me that she's looking for me, etc. I found R, talked to her for a while (things were groovy)and then I left to go back to my place in Chattanooga. Last weekend I went to T house again and hung out with them for the day. A few hours into my visit H(she's also said I should hook up with her sister) called R and told her she should come over. R arrived soon after and decided to hang out with us for the evening instead of going to a party that her friend was having. During the evening she was continually touching me and flirting, etc. At one point she tackled me, grabbed my phone out of my hand while I was talking to Amy and hung upon on her, proclaiming that I was there to hang out with them and I shouldn't be talking to anyone else. Then she went through my contacts and said that her number better be in there. I proceeded to remind her that she hadn't given it to me so it couldn't possibly be in my phone. She started putting her number in my phone and then said she shouldn't and gave my phone back to me. Then a few moments later i got her number. Honestly the whole situation with R kinda freaked me out so I left, called A back and met up with her and some friends of mine at Voodoo in Chattanooga. T has asked me to come down again this weekend to hang out with them and chances are probably pretty good that R will be there.
Why am I confused? Well, I have no idea what to do. I mean I DO have a crush on R but she's young and I feel guilty because she's my best friend's sister in law. R and I have always had lots of fun together but I've never considered anything other than friendship until recently. Things between us are changing and I don't know what to do. Recently R's become much more touchy, flirty and affectionate than ever and it kinda freaks me out.

What should I do people? HELP!!!!!!

btw, I'm a new member of this community. LOL

Current Mood: confused
Monday, May 2nd, 2005
8:03 pm
Friday, April 8th, 2005
3:09 pm
stuck in a relationship...but still boy crazy
well im with this guy...and we have been together for like 9 months...and when we broke up i had missed him so much i had to get him back...but the probelm is im way WAY boy crazy...like you wouldnt even be close to imagining...neways...now that we are back together i have met all these guys and i want to talk to them and go out with them on the weekends but i have a boyfriend you know?...(let me add i am SO not good with commitments and long term relationships)...so anything you guys can give me?

Current Mood: pensive
Friday, April 1st, 2005
9:33 pm
So...I just joined this community because its EXACTLY what i've been looking for. *SIGHS of joy*
Okay...there must be someone out there that can help me. here's my thing:

I've been dating Scott since new years eve. Everything is great, I really like him and he really likes me, but we both realized that we're lacking that "butterflies in the tummy" feeling. We're really comfortable and familiar with eachother and we do have a good connection, but that little pitter patter inside isn't there. Could it be that we've fallen into a comfortable routine and don't need to feel that? or are we doomed and this is going nowhere....anyone? please??? advice??? I really like him and I really really want this to work out....
Thursday, March 17th, 2005
4:47 pm
Just wanted to say hi to all in this community. Sounds like a very interesting community. I'm interested mostly in online dating (well, that is meeting people online), but reading these post about simplicity in dating is kinda giving me some advice on how to run my online dating site. You can find it in my blog, I don't want to post a URL right off and look like I'm spamming.
Monday, February 14th, 2005
9:09 pm
I guess I'm not really looking for advice. Or rather, I'm not sure any advice would be particularly helpful, since the situation simply doesn't want to go anywhere. I do need to rant though, and comments would be nice.

Horribly, horribly long. Sorry.Collapse )

Current Mood: sorrowful
Sunday, February 13th, 2005
10:21 am
so i don't know what to do really...

I know this is semi- long... but I really need some advice...

To begin with...Collapse )

Current Mood: discontent

Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
12:32 am
does simple get boring?
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months now, and have known that I was in love with him for a few months and have been dying to tell him. so a few weeks ago I told him. I'm a big believer that we should say what we feel, no holding back.

anyway, so he didn't say it back right away, which is completely fine, I mean I didn't want a knee-jerk reaction or anything. but it's been a while and I am getting more and more hurt every day. and I'm trying to hide it, which I hate. we have had small conversations about it, but the only thing I get out of him is that he has "been hurt too many times."

what kind of bullshit is this?! does anyone know what this really means? I am a very straighforward person and I don't like games. I am honest and I don't understand how this makes any sense. I don't want to pressure him or anything, but how long can a relatioship survive when one person is completely head-over-heels, and the other either 1)won't say that he loves them, or 2)DOESN'T love them. ahh.

so much for relationship simplicity I guess. I need some advice...what do I do? what does this all mean? are we doomed now? did I ruin everything?

Current Mood: lonely
Wednesday, December 8th, 2004
2:31 pm
I fairly recently got over a particularly bad break up and I've just started dating again. I'd love to hear your dating stories! Any particularly good or bad dates lately? Feel free to post them as a reply to this post here or in my new dating stories community _loimve_

Much love,
Monday, September 27th, 2004
11:43 pm
You know you want to be here...
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

Every time you fall in love, you sign an unspoken contract that might as well be the eleventh commandment: "Thou Shalt Fight!"

We love, we live, we cherish, we care, we speak, we touch, we feel, we emote, we Fight!

fightslastnight is a community where you come and report what happened to you...What happened last night.

If you fought with your partner and want to share it - maybe because you like telling stories, maybe because you need advice, maybe because you have a kink of making your private life public...or maybe because you like malice and want to get even with somebody.

Whatever it is, if it is a fight between lovers - arguments, debates, exchanges, dialogues, fights - unfathomable things that happen when two people try to be each other, this is where you want to talk about it.

Come join us at fightslastnight

Current Mood: amused
Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
11:59 pm
Things go well for so long, you get complacent. Then something jarrs your world, makes you think.
I don't want to marry him.
Not that that was an immediate plan or anything, but it's the future goal. Isn't it?
My eye may have wandered. Various things went pitter pat.
I want to see the world of people.

So I broke another heart.

I really do feel really bad, he's my best friend. I still love him. I'm just not, say it with me, IN love with him.

Current Mood: guilty
Saturday, July 24th, 2004
12:17 am
Dose love exist in todays world ?
Hello, I am sorry about my spelling before hand you might have to guess some...

My Qustion if love even exists? I know lust dose but love at that. true love??? and how can one uptane it? I heard the word love and the frist thing I think of if what are they trying to get or gain? it is toss around too much and it has become so cheap. it is the same with I'm sorry. you know I don't think it is real any more.
I have a couple of friends and they are in love and I do belive that they are as much as a preson can and we all hang out and it is great... however beging the only one not getting to hold someones hand I got very colds and I have to get my jacket to warm up. I made a mistake... I got to the point that I called someone that I knew would. and there was no anything at all... nonthing happen I just got sick of begin alone even if in the company of good friends. anyway I am getting off the subject I called this guy. and we hung out and if was cool. but... it isn't what I wanted.... I guess I am looking for a love that is return and I cann't seem to find it and I wounld dose love exist in this day and age or is it only for a certan few. I don't get it but thank you for listen to the long ramble

looking for love or better yet a friend that will become a love

Current Mood: weird
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